Counseling Works

Joan B. Wells LPC

(210) 203-2057

PO Box 29612

San Antonio, Texas, 78229


Family Violence- How Children Are Affected

The Generational Cycle:

We learn about relationships, marriages and parenting from our parents, not by what they tell us, but by carefully and closely watching what they do and how they live their lives. Violent parents teach that you hit the people that you love. Violence solves problems.

Children who grow up in violent families accept violence as normal in relationships and as an appropriate way to cope with stress. They are unable to build healthy, happy relationships with themselves or with others.

The two greatest risk factors for a man to batter a woman are:

Of boys aged 11 to 20 years old who commit homicide, 63% kill a man who was abusing their mother(UCR, FBI, 1987)

85% of prisoners come from violent homes.

Typical Childhood Reactions to Violence


Emotional Effects

Physical Effects

Behavioral Effects

Social Effects

Cognitive Effects

Both abusers and victims assume that the kids don’t hear or know what is happening in the family. Many of these effects intensify if the child is directly abused. Many times, direct abuse of children will prompt a victim to act quickly and leave. Children are affected, however, trust me.

Joan Wells is a Licensed Professional Counselor and was the clinical director of the Battered Women’s Shelter’s Counseling Center for five years. She helps train F.A.C.T. volunteers and speaks publicly in a variety of settings. She now works in private practice, specializing in abusive relationships, victims of sexual assault, and parenting.